i cant seem to bring a real smile to my face lately. i feel that i may just have lost the will to live... i feel nothing inside except sadness, and im being completely overwhelmed by it. it is consuming me. i havent looked forward to something in weeks, i dont get excited anymore. my eyes are growing empty. there is no life in them anymore, which is what i feared would happen when i came back here... i knew it would, i just didnt know when. the sparkle that used to be there is gone. and all i have to cheer me up is the thought that one day when im old ill die. no one can understand what im feeling inside, and no one can make it stop. the feeling you have when you have lost all hope is horrible. i need to change something in my life, then maybe i can start being happy again. i feel as if i have lost everything. i am empty... just a droid now...